how does it seem? you are probably wrong.

by michelle on February 23, 2012

 As a high school senior I thought I’d known enough heart break to be able to profess as my senior quote that “things are never what they seem.”

Served with a twist, I also have the experience that what I plan or expect is exactly not what will happen.

You’ve heard of Olympians who spend hours visualizing winning the race, golfers who meditate on the ball going in the hole? But here’s the glitch: If all ten sprinters visualize crossing the finish line first, nine are going to be wrong.

For my whole life this has worked so opposite for me that I actually used to picture the thing I didn’t want to have happen so that it wouldn’t. I tried not to think about how I wanted it to go.

If I imagine an event going one way, it doesn’t.

If I rehearse (admittedly not quite visualization) an interaction I’m planning, it takes an unexpected turn.

If I think I know where someone else is coming from, I’m wrong every time.

I know it works for a lot of people, but for me…

Things are never what they seem.

What about you? Do you visualize the ideal outcome? Does it work?

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Sean February 24, 2012 at 1:06 am

Things don’t always work out as planned, or envisioned, yet, I take solace in the fact that, for the most part, things seem to happen for a reason.

I feel like I have too many commas in the preceding sentence.

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Kelley February 24, 2012 at 10:37 am

Hey Sexy. I almost didn’t believe that was you. Wowsers! I’m working on this very issue mentioned in your post. When I think about an outcome I do tend to set my expectations high and often get let down. But if I just plan for the best but not necessarily expect something specific, I go with the flow and find true “in the moment” happiness. It’s often in the getting of what I didn’t expect that I’m even happier.

Good luck sister. Miss you terribly. XOXO.

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Emma February 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I’m like you. I am very superstitious and never assume (or envision) anything. Even when the ideal outcome does come to pass, and it sometimes done, how often does it both A) come to pass and B) turn out to actually be what we want?

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michelle February 26, 2012 at 11:05 pm

emma – yes, so helpful to remember that the worry/stress of it is so fruitless!

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Luke Wilson February 24, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Do not anticipate what will happen tomorrow.
St. Francis de Sales

I meditate on the prayer, “Do Not Look with Fear, On the Changes and Chances of This Life,” that includes this thought. As my teacher says, you can’t live in the future, only in the now. How I wish to be in the now.

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michelle February 26, 2012 at 11:06 pm

love that, luke. i’m writing that down. thanks for sharing…

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Robert Webster February 27, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Michelle, re: your quote: “…If I think I know where someone else is coming from, I’m wrong every time.”
I am reminded of a movie quote by Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park explaining his take on chaos theory:
“If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, expands to new territories, and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, ah, well, there it is.”

I used to envision the worst case scenario and worried needlessly. But, I have learned through through your tutelage and others at the studio that there is very little I can control – life crashes through. So now I am happier letting things be!

BTW – I bet you aren’t wrong every time! You’re pretty perceptive!

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